Thursday, 28 April 2011

Parenting.. PC minefield

Being a mum to 3 girls of varying ages i am hypersensitive to the political correctness gone wrong.  But i fear it has made me slightly judgmental of others and the way their bring up their children. I'm not saying these people are doing bad or wrong but more of not totally taking as much care of these little packages as they should do. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm far from it as a mother as well as a person but i do try and live by values and morals and pass these on to my girls. I'm a stickler for manners and i hate cheek, i don't give in to paddies and i always put their needs and wants before me own, regardless of well, anything else really.

My 7 year old is like a waif, she eats like a pig but there's not an inch to pinch yet quite frequently she will ask if she is fat, FAT???? How does my 7 year old even understand what that word means. No doubt from the older age group she shares a playground with. The same children that explained to her what snogging (yes snogging) is and the same children that dress more seductively than i do!
I appreciate every mother has their own parenting technique and every mum has the right to use them but sometimes there are times when i cant help but tut and shake my head.
For instance me and Zoe are strolling through the park on the way to pick Emma up from pre-school. There is a group of mums with about 8 kids all under 4. They seemed to be having a lovely time in the sun, no screaming or fighting just a lovely time in the park, until i spotted 3 of the aforementioned children with their head stuck in a green bin not far from the road. Now it all sounds like a unoffensive children playing scenario but i couldn't help but think that this was a total mummy fail. The park is used frequently by dog walkers, who use said bin to dispose of their dogs mess, drunk teens use the park in the late evenings to give the locals cause to complain and god knows what else yet no one batted an eye lid while these 3 small children where sticking their hands and heads into it.
Now does that mean all the PC has gone to my head and making a mountain out of a  mole hill or is this just something that shouldn't be acceptable whatever the time or place. I know i wouldn't want or accept my girls to behave that way or am i having a total mummy fail??

Now i know the majority of mums out there wouldn't let their four year old where hot pants and a sparkly padded bra but some do, some even think its cute even though it sexualises children and they seem totally oblivious to the social implications it has, not just morally but the well being of our children. these parents also seem to think its OK to have a new baby, naked, out in the blaring sun at the middle of the day and they wonder why its screaming blue murder!
Maybe in a way we are all to blame. We are letting teenage girls give birth everyday, and as i know 90% of them do a stand up job that would put most of us to shame,  but theres the few that don't have a clue and bring that child up like its a toy! Maybe we should be educating these girls instead of tutting in their general direction, surely theres always a story behind a face or situation and given the right advice and support they to could be better mums. Maybe babies should come with a manual of simple dos and dont's. I remember being told when my eldest was weaning, by the health visitor, not to puree McDonald's, I mean who actually does that!!!!! it had never even crossed my mind, i was in a vegetable and fruit day dream until she dragged me back to earth with such a candid comment. When she saw the exhasberated look on my face she simply said, "yes that does happen".
Another thing that gets me is breast feeding. Now i couldn't breast feed any of mine, i just didn't produce enough milk for them so i was left with no choice but to bottle feed and even though i was happy with that, to a degree, some women are more than proud to breast feed and id be there behind them waving a huge support banner! Yet PC has gone so mad that these poor women are frequently asked to stop or leave, cafes and restaurants when they are feeding. Now tell me how you could find that offensive? Cos i seriously don't understand what the problem is. Its discreet and its also better than listening to a screaming baby! I am also appalled that these woman are forced to feed in toilets and baby changing rooms as people find it rude, RUDE are you kidding?? And its always those people who where breast fed themselves at a time when there was no alternative.

Don't get me wrong I'm not preaching, I'm no where near perfect... i am sat here eating cupcakes (homemade of course!) and i appreciate you cant please all people all the time but these children will be in charge one day.. they will be doctors and PMs or more importantly, parents themselves and if we don't instill some old fashioned morals and values the whole would will be taken over by the "Jordan's" of the world and everything will be pink with diamante's!

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