Gone AWOL

I have been a naughty blogger of late and neglected my old friend and i feel i must broach this issue and rectify the problem.
With christmas fast approaching and juggling 3 kids, a wayward husband, a mental cat and my rough around the edges home, i have barely had time to glance in the mirror and smile never mind have a rant or generally, catch up with life.
So how have you been? i hope your asking. Well I've had build ups to be knocked down, played nurse, decorator, inspirer and teacher. I've been busy then not so much and all round un-talkative. Life as a full time mum then some, a wife and small business owner i wonder some times if success can ever really touch those that cannot commit to the hard slog more than snatching an hr here and ten mins there.
I do well, for what i can commit but i fear this half in half out attitude will never see me good. I have journals upon journals of designs and ideas i just never get round to with the girls needing so much of me more often than time allows, i mean jebus they even steal my sleeping time!!
Don't get me wrong i love being a mum and at times i think id be much happier if i did just shelve it til they are older, be more focused on family life but then i remember how it felt to not have anything to aim for.
I fear i am a complicated soul who worries to much and that that fact is whats holding me back. Others do it, so why can't i? Am i selling something that people just don't want? Is the jewellery market just flooded with 'look-a-likes' and newbies that theres just no room for an almost middle aged woman working her socks off!!
Changing craft wouldn't be a bad thing. I could aim at something i can do downstairs and isn't as dangerous for the kids to be involved and to be around. I could choose a more therapeutic craft so i can 'Work' at the evening without it over taking my hubby time.
Maybe I'm just a moaning cow that just can't accept that ill never be happy cos I'm far to critical of myself!
I have new jewellery ideas noted and designed ready for the christmas season. Hopefully these styles will be more of a hit and i can drop the more 'assembled' jewellery in favour of more unique designs that people seem to crave, simple, unique and classic with a touch of pretty seemed to be the consensus.
On another note, my handmade year isn't going as badly as i had thought. I have cheated and purchased a few 'new' items. Generally only being shoes and underwear and i have sold on a lot too which i hope balances this out.
As for as handmade christmas goes, I'm getting there. Planned beauty hamper for my sister filled with free gifts and samples so only the basket/hamper to buy and a gardening hamper for my sister in law which will be filled with seeds etc that are free gifts or very cheap for her little plot, i even popped in a paid of gardening gloves i was given that I've never used as i already had a pair. For my brother in law he's having a tea hamper as he loves tea! (but hey who doesn't!!!) There will be handmade jewellery and cross stitch samplers for those that are hard to buy for and I've used discount codes and freebies for the family i don't get to see. For the girls I've been grabbing sale items and ebay finds just the hubby to figure out now!!
All in all I'm pretty proud of myself, the girls have only had ebay and charity shop clothes, they spend their life in uniform now anyway! and I've only bought second hand books. Ive cut down the amount of magazines i buy and I've cut out impulse buys all together. Though i had wish i had kept a running tally of the amount of money i have saved!!

So on that bomb shell i shall retire to my mountain of ironing and alanis morrisette.
Enjoy your saturday peeps :)
(and sorry for no pics!!)

L xx