Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Stage 1 of 'operation life in order'

Don't we all find life so much easier when we all just go with the flow and never fight against the current?
For the majority of my life, including my childhood with a bossy, ' i know best' mother I've always gone along with the whatever was the easy life and now I'm fast approaching 30 its dawned on me that well, Why the chuff should i?! (yes i censored that!)
So after a very successful SENCO meeting t school this morning, even is half the people that should of been there didn't bother to turn up, it seemed to focus me on what i WANT to be doing not what i think everyone else wants me to do.
Ive booked a carpet cleaner for the lounge ( not the first thing you expected me to say I'm sure, but its LONG over due and well i don't really want to recarpet!)
I have booked me and zoe onto a toddlers music class on a monday afternoon.
I have booked elissa and emma onto a dance and drama class for children with special needs, yes you heard right! i FINALLY found something that will take emma without encouragement and that will take lis too, regardless!!!
Ive finished my Curiosity Project box.
Wrote a letter.
Sorted 3 birthdays that are due over the next month, including cards and is all wrapped and ready to go.
Ive started replanning interiors for the house again.
And I've found a holiday for Jan at a BARGAIN price that i will be rushing to book on fri!
And now you are all sat there thinking "WTF was all that fuss about!!"
Well for someone that tends to drift with the tide i feel VERY proud of myself that I've actually done something about the back log of "things to do.."
Now all thats left is my REAL life!! Still firmly got my heart set on Baby Sign Teacher but I'm worried for the outlay that i won't get the people in good ol' sunny blackpool, to buy into it.
Ive even reconsidered my passion for teaching but knowing how hard my friend found it getting a job it puts me off taking the plunge into teacher training.
As much as i love making jewellery its not a "real" business, its just a hobby that inadvertently makes me some spending money and no matter how hard i try to convince myself that in 5 years people will shop my "brand" i know its one of those far flung dreams we will never reach. The market is flooded with competition and to be honest, no matter how low my prices are and however 'unique' my look is, i will never be able to compete with the high street. We still aren't at a time where people prefer to shop online for those 'impulse' buys that jewellery is mostly consisted of.
So heres me trying to move away from all the drama, ill happily keep the shop open and let it tick over, doing orders now and again and fulfilling my wholesalers orders but other than that my heart just isn't truly in it any more. It makes me sad knowing i "work" so many hrs a week trying to make it work when clearly it just isn't going to. Im not completely disappointed, i know i did all this all by myself, with no funding or business help and I'm proud of that fact, and its been fun it truly has but i really don't want to kid myself any longer.
Stage 2 will be finding my perfect profession. Any advice greatly appreciated!!!

L x